btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
