help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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