Me too!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
