Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
