sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
