i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
