and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
