we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
