Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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