I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
