I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
