the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
