Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
