You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
