Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
