it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
