you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
