im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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