If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
