curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
