Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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