Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
