Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
