No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
