in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
