a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm both gender and math confused
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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