9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need moral support for this bender
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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