Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
