apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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