Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
