Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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