we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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