so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
