so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
