If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize