Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
