i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
should my penis look like a turkey
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
