he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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