I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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