East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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