dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
