At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
