how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
