So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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