I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's never too late to be topless.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
