What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
