would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
