we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
