dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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