His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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